Basic Japanese help (check this roomaji)?

Question:

I am doing an assignment and I want to double check (especially some parts) that I have it all right before I memorize it. There may be a few spelling mistakes because I can't remember precisely the word but I have the english translation of what I want the sentence to be next to it. I apologize if it gets a bit repetitive, my fabricated trip to Japan is meant to be correct not interesting. I have highlighted the bits I have a strong suspicion is wrong. Basically you are looking for any grammar, wording or sentence structure fails as well as any obvious fails like the castle isn't even in Aomori etc (although you don't have to search that up, just if you happen to notice anything like that then please notify me). Thanks very much for your assistance, I will be rewarding 10 points within 24hs given a satesfactory result as my speech is tomorow or the day after.

Watashi wa San getsu juugo nichi ni Jaku to nihon ni ikimasu. I am going to japan on the 15th of March with Jack. Hikouki de burisuben kara tokyo ni ikimasu. Going from Brisbane to Tokyo by areroplane. Kinryū-zan Sensō-ji ni ikimasu. Going to sensoji temple. Juunananichi ni shinkansen de Sendai sonogo(*that is a word I am very unsure about as I searched it with google translate*) basu de Zao onsen ni ikimasu. On the 17th I am going to sendai by shinkansen *then* Zao onsen by bus. Shinkansen wa daisuki desu. I love shinkansen. Sukii ga suki desu. I like skiing. Sukii ga zenzen dekimasen. I never skii. Watashi wa nijuuninichi ni shinkansen to basu de Aomori ni ikimasu. On the 22nd I am going to Aomori by shinkansen and bus. Watashi wa aruite (I think this is the correct type of walking but please tell me if this is a constitutional rather than walking as a mode of transport) to densha de Hirosakijo desu. I am walking and catching the train to Hirosaki castle. nijuyonnichi ni Jaku to watashi to hikouki de Tokyo to Burisuben ni ikimasu. On the 24th Jack and I are traveling by plane to Tokyo and Brisbane.

Answer:

Tooo long. I was fatigued to read.
You should ... how to say in English?...divide into paragraphs, start with new line.

San getsu →　san gatsu
Jaku →　Jakku (or English proper nouns should be describe directly? I'm not sure about that.)
Kinryū-zan Sensō-ji → If you call it simply Senso-ji temple, former Kinryū-zan isn't needed.
Juunananichi → Juushichi nichi
; 10=juu 7=nana, shichi
17 can be said both juushichi and juunana. To explain this difference is not easy, though, we say 17th(date) juushichi nichi, 17th(order) juunana ban ,

Juushichi nichi ni shinkansen de Sendai ni, sono ato basu de Zao onsen ni ikimasu.
"Sono go" and "sono ato" is same.　I think sono go is more formal.

...Give up.