What do you think about my Japanese poem dedicated to Japanese men?

Question:

見つめてください、体に触ってください、抵抗しません。
私の体にあなたの体重をかけて欲しい。
私の体毛を愛撫し、耳をなめて欲しい。
耳を噛んで髪を引っ張り、股間を愛撫して舌でもてあそんで欲しい。
ケツ穴を指と舌でほぐして、唇に優しくキスしながら
抱きしめてチンポで深く突いて欲しい。
汗だくになり・・・私は理性を失い、放心状態になる・・・
我慢できなくなり、イク。２人はダウンする。その時私は、
再度やれるかどうかしか考えていません

Answer:

Well............. Honestly some words are not really a good combination to hear.

How about making some changes like this:

Can I touch your body, just please don't resist.
I want you to put your body on mine.
I want to lick your ears while caressing your hair.
I want to play games licking your crotch with my tongue while biting your ear and pulling your hair.
Loosen up your fingers while I'll kiss your lips gently in whole.
I want you to thrust me deeply.
Until I sweat and lost in stargazing ..............

If you want to dedicate poems to someone you should be sure first that your words are inviting and good to hear.................

Not offensive and insulting to your subject......at least be mature enough........O.K?