Sunday, December 11, 2011

Does this girl like me or just very friendly?

Question:


I'm studying abroad right now in Japan. This one Japanese girl has me slightly confused as to her intentions. I recently decided to try to make more Japanese friends in my classes and she seemed very nice, friendly, and dedicated to learning English (she's probably one of the better students when it comes to practicing English).

So, I got her phone number and later texted (I was told this is how things work in Japan) her to ask if she was free next week and said she could join me for dinner. We agree to next Sunday and agree to meet at the station. Come Sunday, she texts me half an hour before meeting saying "Let's meet at the Christmas tree ;)" We go out to eat dinner and halfway through she gives me a Christmas present: two folded paper cranes and some store bought "Merry Christmas" chocolate from Takashimiya. I'm actually very surprised and happy. However, this also makes me wonder, since Christmas is supposedly a couples day in Japan, from what I have heard. I said I'd repay her with a present of my own and she said "Your words alone are a present." though was clearly very happy I'd give her one.

Afterward, I said we could have dinner again soon and she said "Oh, do you want to go to Chinese restaurant?" (we had talked about one briefly earlier, as I can't find any and I like Chinese food). I said "Sure, we can go sometime next week" and she said something like "Oh..next week?! Oh no! Oh...next week...next week...I'm not sure if I'll have any time. If I do, I will let you know!"

So, what is it? Is she just really friendly or does she like me? I went in assuming it'd just be a friendly dinner since I don't even know her that well (we're in the same group for a group project, but we only ever talked about the project). The Christmasy stuff in particular confuses me since I've been told it's strictly a couples day in Japan.

Answer:


She might....she did go out for dinner with you. If she just gives the 'let's do something together sometime' line and never gives a firm date and commitment, then you know it's just the tatemae. And she suggested going to a Chinese restaurant. But maybe she has other appointments. If you are talking about the week after Xmas, which is New Year's, many families spend them together just as in the West many families spend Xmas together. So don't rush things and don't push her.
Wait til you meet up again - also if it's just a casual thing she probably won't wear anything special, but if you notice she is dressing up in something fancier and high heels then to her it is probably more of a date. So try and get to know her better, and what she wants to talk about - that will give you a lot more clues.

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