I am not able to learn Japanese. I don't know how to go about learning the grammar?

Question:

I got interested in learning Japanese 3.5 years ago. I used to just copy kanji characters for fun. Later I started learning hiragana, katakana and some vocabulary. Then I joined an online correspondence course for Japanese but I finished half of it and didn't do it more because it was very slow and there were some other disadvantages (the teacher never answered any of my questions). I have loads of books for learning Japanese, especially for particles and "grammar for dummies". I love "Japanese grammar for dummies" book but I don't have patience with drilling and exercises. I like reading the theory but I feel like sleeping when I see grammar exercises. Then I thought that maybe I could pick up Japanese grammar by just reading bilingual Japanese text (Japanese with English on the side) and "the grammar will come". Like this I learned to recognize quite a few kanji and understand more on how kanji work and how some grammar structures work. Maybe this is called a "passive learning". I have no idea how to study the "aggressive" way and reinforce the grammar rules in my head. As most of my learning has been "passive", (reading, listening) I have big troubles with writing and speaking. Although I can understand some words written in kanji but I could never write that word out of my memory. The same, I think, I have no idea how to talk in Japanese because I have no idea what comes after what and there are so many transitive-intransitive verbs. I get a feeling I am just fooling myself while believing I can learn Japanese myself. Do you have any idea what could help with "idiomatic usage of Japanese" and all their idioms and idiomatic phrases + complexity of verbs and particles?

Answer:

Passive learning is really good for input, but if you really want to speak/write Japanese, you have to do it. Get a penpal. See if that person will do Skype. And I also heard that if you Skype, you can leave some setting open, and people will talk to you.

Right now, it sounds like you are using Japanese as a kind of super-jigsaw puzzle -- figuring out how the "rules" work and how it fits together. And there's nothing wrong with that! It's a great mental exercise and a way to pass the time. But, it isn't really learning the language. (-: I see a lot of Japanese who do the exact same thing with English.

If you can't find a native speaker to help you (although, all things are possible on the internet), I suggest you recruit a study buddy to work with you.

Finally, and I don't know if you'll have the patience for this, but Ben Franklin said he learned French by reading an article or short essay in French, translating it into English, then hiding the original, and trying to re-translate the English back into French. Kind of tedious, but certainly useful and something you can do all by yourself.