Question:
I have traveled to Japan 4 years ago. This time I am going there to work. I have read things about Japanese people. What I know is that they may be open to trying to be hospitable. However I know that most Japanese people are xenophobic. I as a black man will doubt that a Japanese woman will fall for me (unlike Thai women). Most of all I will have a great sense of isolation in the middle of 127 million people in Japan. Because even if I learn their language and learn their complicated culture, I know that I will never fit in and my friendships with Japanese will never stick (much like other Northeast Asians). It's not because of me, but it's because of them. So how would Japanese respond if I am selfish? If you ask me I think that they are selfish in their ways because they are ethnocentric, and many of them have used their ethnocentric attitudes to justify racism. So if I am selfish towards them while living there, how will Japanese respond to that?
Answer:
Don't believe everything you read! That's like a discouragement from anyone ever going to Japan, I know exactly what type of book you're talking about
Obviously black men have gone to Japan before and had lots of good friends and even a girlfriend like them and find love.
It is possible! You can create some awesome memories, but it's your attitude! This is not a good attitude to take, as if you just come across one obstacle and give up since it's not picture perfect.
I also read books on Japan that sounds same as what you said...but understand most of those books are written by white, middle aged business men who are tourists...not permanently living there and only pick out certain points that they wish, because it stands it out in the memory when it does happen for the first time.
Everyone has a different response and in life it can be much different than what the books write
Don't let the word racism or any stereotypes you've formed stop you. People are people, and Japanese are people like us, and take interest in other cultures too! Try to see it from their point of view. It's so easy to hate how it is when you love Japanese culture, but realize that its just another stereotype you are pitting against all of Japan..not all are ethnocentric. In the end, if a person sees your true good qualities they will want to be your friend very much
Same as relationships here, sometimes relationships don't last "forever", but that does not mean it is not worth it
Don't feel isolated, but be energized to try to make friends and learn about the Japanese view of life and society :) anyone anywhere who is trying to make friends and fit in will feel rejected at points
You can not be Japanese..no one can control their birth circumstance, and it is nothing to regret, but that does not mean you can not enjoy being with Japanese people and live like Japanese culture! :D
If you act selfish I don't think they will be used to it. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar..try to adjust to the culture and formalities, you cannot expect it to be completely like your own, then it wouldn't be Japan.
Hope this helps! ^_^
ganbatte~
