Japanese Guys: Should I ask him if he has a girlfriend via e-mail?

Question:

I am an American woman (half Japanese/ half black) living in Japan. I am tall 176cm, 60kg, tan skin with Japanese eyes, nice slim athletic body with long black hair. I stand out in Japan. I have dated a few Japanese guys in Japan, but my coworker is just so attractive to me, and he's taller than me.

I want to ask him if he has a girlfriend, but I can't ask him in the office without other coworkers hearing. I have worked with him for about 3 months.

I try to speak to him at least once a day when I am in the office. Because Japanese is my second language, there are many things I don't understand (for example ことわざ）so I asked him if I could e-mail him if I had some questions. He said yes, and we exchanged e-mails.

If he is not interested in me, it's OK. Rejection is part of dating and maybe not all Japanese guys are interested in dating someone like me. I would be disappointed, but more importantly, I don't want HIM to feel uncomfortable. He doesn't speak English so we only communicate in Japanese. If I ask him directly, he will know that I am interested, which I don't mind, but I want to avoid him feeling uncomfortable because we share the same work place. Any ideas?

Drinking parties are out, because I don't want any other coworkers to know that I am attracted to him. Should I ask him through e-mail?

Answer:

Wow you look so attractive and I do believe most of Japanese males would think so too. But please don't be such American as to ask directly via mail. We Japanese won't ask things directly as you might have known as Japanese is your 2nd language. Japanese males still would like to hold initiative specially on relationship, it won't give good impression even he has no gf and was attracted to you too. I suggest you to ask things (anything will do - Japanese culture or your concerns and make it in serious way) via mail and after having several advices from him, say "〇〇の件では相談に乗っていただいてどうもありがとうございました。今度お礼に お昼でも御馳走させてください” in formal way to keep proper distance. I think going lunch together for those reasons is allowed in Japanese business mannter. Then ask about his private life "お休みのときはいつも何をされているんですか？" to seek your answer. I think this way is very common way for Japanese girls to hint their interests. Hope you can have a good luck getting over cultural differences.