Why do Japanese people hide their feelings around me?

Question:

One of my best Australian friend's girlfriend is Japanese. I know she's racist to Chinese because she says nasty things about Chinese people all the time to my friend, same with her parents and her Japanese friends. I do not blame them because everyone is entitled to their own opinions, I am in fact Chinese myself. However whenever I confront her, her dad or her friends they all shy away as if they are scared to even look at me, they don't even know me and I was never rude or anything.

Do they think they are being superior to me by not confronting me but prefer to criticise Chinese people in private?

Please explain.

I prefer they at least face me and say these racist stuff.

Answer:

Quite possibly they consider you to be too lowly and inferior even to condescend to talk to. That's called "honnne" (本音 ).

But they usually don't express such feelings of theirs openly to maintain civility in public. That's called "Tatemae" (建前, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tatemae).

Most Japanese are like that. It's not so much out of hate but of despise. They could even be polite to and treat nicely the likes of you in public occasionally, but deep in their heart you know what they are thinking, without exception. So don't be fooled when that happens.